Last week, I wrote about how you can identify what’s truly important to you in your life. Now, let’s get specific, so we can make your vision a reality.
Now that you’ve reflected on the main categories of your life, we’re going to set goals to reflect where you’d like to be regarding each category.
In some of these areas, you may already be living life as you’d like it to be, and in other areas, there may be a mismatch between what you’d like your life to look like and what it currently is. In this exercise, you’ll gain awareness of where you are now and where you’d like to be.
What goals and projects (activities, responsibilities, things you do) do you have in each category?
Do you feel fulfilled by the combination of goals and projects listed here? Does the list feel “complete”?
In an ideal world, would you remove any goals and/or projects from this category, i.e., would you take anything off your list?
In an ideal world, would you add any goals and/or projects to this list? Is there anything that you feel is missing that you’d like to add?
Run through this exercise for each of the 10 priorities categories. You’re finished when each category feels fulfilling to you.
Now, try to take in the 10 categories together. Do they make for a fulfilling, purposeful life? It may be difficult to hold everything you’ve written in mind at the same time, but allow your gut feeling to guide you here. Does your intuition tell you something is missing? Or does this feel like a pretty good life?
I often get asked how much time budgeting takes, realistically speaking. The short answer is that it takes an amount of time that is totally worth it given the money it will save you and the peace of mind it will buy you.
I answered the question practically by breaking down my budgeting routine:
Back in high school, one of our teachers always said, “Even when you make a mistake, you’re still a good person.” I thought it was funny back then, but I’ve been thinking about this for years.
We got a white board at home. Oh, the joy! Jacob wanted to get it because he thought he’d need it for work. I was trying to hide my enthusiasm as he was ordering it, and I didn’t tell him I’d be taking over it, haha!
We’ve needed something like this for a long time. We do our family planning in our shared google calendar and our shared lists on To Do, but we noticed we needed some sort of visual reminder in our home about some specific home tasks.
We’re also making an effort to spend less time on our phones when we’re having family time in the evenings, so we can’t see reminders on our phones and can’t check our calendar or to do list. Once we’re finished with work and we’re home with William for the evening, our phones go in the Phone Box. We take them out if we actually need them, but then we put them right back in the box. This avoids mindless scrolling on the phone when we could in fact be connecting as a family.
This is our phone box.
This is where the white board comes in
There are two columns on the white board: ‘Tasks J’ and ‘Tasks M.’ We can each put tasks underneath each column, which gives us the ability to assign each other tasks and give each other reminders without nagging–this is key!
For instance, I am in charge of the food menu, so I know what needs to be cooked each day. We also buy lots of frozen foods (meat, fish, fruits, and vegetables) because they tend to be cheaper for the same or even more nutrients than the conventional options. The evening before we’re going to cook something, I think about what needs to be defrosted, and I put it on Jacob’s tasks. (Jacob is in charge of defrosting stuff because he’s very good with packing stuff in the freezer, and he has a special system for what goes where. Clearly, I’m not the only organization nerd in our house.)
An example of what our white board looked like this Thursday.
Why don’t I just tell Jacob what he needs to defrost, you may ask? Haha. Are you married or living with someone, I’d ask? Often when I tell him to do something, he may not want to do it, he may be in the middle of something else, or he may not even be home from work yet. It’s so much easier to put the reminder or task in an external holding space, so I don’t have to do any reminding or nagging myself.
So when Jacob is home and is ready to deal with the tasks for that evening, he checks the white board and then does them in his own time. The other most common tasks for him on the board are, ‘Empty trash’ and ‘Cook sweet potatoes’ (he’s the sweet potato master!).
Funny enough, he doesn’t write down tasks for me very often. Usually, he apps me a request for something, and I put it on my to do list or on the board. That’s just how it goes. I look forward to the day when he puts a task on my white board list though!
By the way, William also wanted to have his own column for tasks he needs to do. So I made him a column with tasks such as, ‘Play,’ ‘Tidy up,’ and ‘Clean’ (he loves cleaning with a handheld vacuum cleaner). Let’s see how long this fascination lasts.
Naturally, William also loves drawing on the white board, but yesterday he ended up drawing on the wall underneath the white board as well. Clearly, there are drawbacks to using a white board…
When I talk about my Review System to others, people often ask, “Doesn’t it all take too long?”
In fact, it doesn’t. Setting up a new system for the first time may be an investment of time, but maintaining it is quick.
This morning, I did my Monthly Review for May. I timed myself, and it took me 12 minutes. Literally! I almost felt disappointed there was nothing more to do. I love the Monthly Review, and when the time comes for it (once a month, duh!), I want to savor it and enjoy it. But after 12 minutes, it was done.
What is the Monthly Review?
Ah, I’m so glad you asked. The Monthly Review is a periodic review of the past month and a preview of the upcoming month. I like to do this towards the end of each month. Here, I’ll be describing the Monthly Review for the end of May 2021.
If you haven’t heard, there’s a pandemic going on, and now the holiday season is also upon us. These things are timely and feel immediate (i.e., they are here right now), while my PhD doesn’t feel so urgent.
I noticed a few months ago that I didn’t feel much urgency related to my work. I thought, “I’m getting back in the groove of things, I still have 1.5 years until I need to finish my PhD, it’s all good, that’s loads of time.” That’s all fine, but time is ticking away. If I don’t focus and work now, I’ll be pressed for time later.
I needed to make my PhD work feel more urgent. But how to do that without any pressing deadlines? While February 2022 (the end of my PhD contract) keeps gradually coming closer, it’s still too far away to give me a tangible feeling of immediacy.
A Good Life 