I spend my days vacillating between experiencing small pleasures (recently eating mango ice cream with fresh lime juice or noticing acts of kindness or a sunrise) and noticing small discomforts (often fatigue or noticing disappointments). I am intensely happy when I feel loved or when I feel like I can make a difference or when I can lose myself in the act of creating something. I feel deeply sad when I am isolated, betrayed, or don’t feel understood or cared for. I worry a lot about whether I’m competent or smart or talented or likable and if that’s enough. I like to feel like I’m a deeply good and caring person. I like to feel like an artist. I like to analyze what has made me the way I am.
I am always coffee or whiskey in a marfanoid frame. My religion is discourse and I prefer to flirt with the profound. Up late, I watch smoke drift out of crowded rooms and can never decide which way it is going.
Being me means spending one third of waking hours impressing friends with my quidditch skills; one third winning verbal arguments against colleagues; and one third making my favorite comedians laugh hysterically. Right now, being me is fucking awesome!
Being me means being willing to sink in to the uncomfortable when it has something to offer me. Right now, the uncomfortable is trusting my intuition and surrendering into it, watching my own personal culture emerge while judging no one else’s. Accepting that the second I have myself figured out, I’m wrong again.
Let me share the first description I received:
Hmm… let me think, what is it to be me. It is to be disciplined (of course not always but in many cases), to analyse constantly, what do I do right or wrong, what others do right or wrong and to learn from my own and from others’ mistakes. To be me is to be very tolerant and do my best not to judge other people. To constantly search for the positive sides/signs in everything. To be me is often to worry about things which I probably shouldn’t worry about. To love food and bakery very much but at the same time worry if I eat healthy enough and not too much. To always create plans and if something goes not according to my imagined schedule or sequences, I feel irritation, but then again try to teach myself to see it as a positive thing for my flexibility training. Uff… didn’t expect that would say so much about being me☺
A couple of weeks ago, I was doing a friend’s experiment, looking at simple lines and colors and pressing buttons. I thought, “Would someone else perceive these images differently from me? Certainly, she would. What would those differences be based on and how would the impression actually be changed?”
It’s very difficult to understand how we ourselves perceive the world, let alone other people. And the point is that how things appear to us is subjective: how can I explain to you what it is like when I drink a cup of aromatic tea? How can you explain to me how a red rose appears to you? It’s very difficult because it’s subjective.
But humans came up with language. We can use words in order to communicate complex ideas, and writers spend their lives trying to find the words to convey a particular concept or feeling. Apparently words can be powerful. So I decided to ask people about the way the world appears or feels to them.
I asked: What is it like to be you?
A great deal of people responded, and the responses were very, VERY different. I certainly got a sense of what it is like to be these people. While we can never inhabit someone else’s mind and heart and fully see the world from their eyes, I like to think that reading these responses can get us a little closer to that. Perhaps by describing what the world is like for us and sharing that with each other, we can gain a fuller understanding of what being human is all about.
I will share one description per day. Stay tuned to find out what it’s like to be someone 🙂 And feel free to share what it’s like to be you!