From the idealistic to the pragmatic: Priorities -> Goals -> Tasks

In the previous two weeks, I wrote about identifying your unique priorities and creating goals in order to make those priorities a reality. Now, it’s time to get very specific and identify tasks that will allow you to reach your goals, so you can live according to your priorities.

Once you identify important goals in your life, it’s time to break them down into actionable steps. What tasks can bring you closer to your goal?

If you want to learn to play piano, a suitable aim may be to play piano 3 times per week for 30 minutes. If you want to spend more time with friends, you can make it a goal to meet up with a friend for dinner or lunch once a week. Then, go ahead and make arrangements with your friends to that end. The key here is to make the steps actionable, so it’s clear what you need to do to move closer to your goal.

Next, you should put the action you’ve identified on your calendar and/or to-do list. Put it somewhere where you won’t forget about the activity, you’ll be reminded of it, and you’ll be able to review it. My calendar and my to-do list (both digital) are my best friends in this regard because they are always by my side (on my phone).

It’s very important to be practical and to plan your activities in detail. Multiple studies have shown the “when, then” approach extremely effective in modifying behavior: for instance, “when I come home from work, I will play piano for 30 minutes. Thus, identify when exactly you will do your new behavior, and decide on what exactly you will do. Be as specific as possible.

We should aim to break down our big goals into small, manageable steps and plan when and how we will carry those out. This is the way to make our goals happen.

Be specific with your priorities: Set goals

Last week, I wrote about how you can identify what’s truly important to you in your life. Now, let’s get specific, so we can make your vision a reality.

Now that you’ve reflected on the main categories of your life, we’re going to set goals to reflect where you’d like to be regarding each category.

In some of these areas, you may already be living life as you’d like it to be, and in other areas, there may be a mismatch between what you’d like your life to look like and what it currently is. In this exercise, you’ll gain awareness of where you are now and where you’d like to be.

  1. What goals and projects (activities, responsibilities, things you do) do you have in each category?
  2. Do you feel fulfilled by the combination of goals and projects listed here? Does the list feel “complete”?
  3. In an ideal world, would you remove any goals and/or projects from this category, i.e., would you take anything off your list?
  4. In an ideal world, would you add any goals and/or projects to this list? Is there anything that you feel is missing that you’d like to add?

Run through this exercise for each of the 10 priorities categories. You’re finished when each category feels fulfilling to you.

Now, try to take in the 10 categories together. Do they make for a fulfilling, purposeful life? It may be difficult to hold everything you’ve written in mind at the same time, but allow your gut feeling to guide you here. Does your intuition tell you something is missing? Or does this feel like a pretty good life?

Yearly Review in these strange times

Happy New Year, everybody! You might think that in these strange times where so much is unpredictable there’s not much of a point in doing a yearly review. But I’ve come to tell you that every year is suited for a yearly review!

If you think about it, life is always unpredictable. 2020 has brought us particularly unexpected circumstances, but it is a fact of life that you can never predict everything that happens. The goal of the yearly review is not to try to control everything that happens to us but rather to reflect on what we’d like in our lives and go about making it happen.

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Focus on habits instead of goals

To achieve long-lasting behavioral change, emphasize habits instead of goals.

I am currently reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, and I am greatly enjoying it. It covers habit formation and behavior change from the basics to more advanced techniques.

James begins by discussing focusing on goals vs. habits. After all, most of the time we focus on achieving goals because the goal is the important, motivating factor. For instance, if you’re trying to get a job as a computer programmer, what ultimately matters is whether you get the job or not.

Focusing on goals postpones our happiness

But with goals we have an either-or mentality: either we achieve the goal, or we don’t. We either succeed or fail. We don’t pay much attention to the progress we’ve made or to what smaller things we’ve achieved in the process. If you don’t get the computer programmer job, you may feel disappointed and not take into account how much you’ve learned about programming in the process.

Also, with a goal-focused mentality, happiness is postponed to the future. We think that when I get that job, then I will be happy. I am not and don’t need to try to be happy in the present moment. This is a huge problem because if we always put off our happiness until later, that moment of happiness will never come. Even when we get the job, there will be something else to do, e.g., renovate the house, before we can be happy.

This really struck me. As a goal-oriented, driven person, I have experienced this multiple times. While working hard on a goal, for instance on getting into university, I told myself that it didn’t matter how I felt at that time. As long as I got into university, everything would be okay and I would be happy. But then when I did get into university, that didn’t magically bring me happiness. I was quite confused because I had achieved my goal but still hadn’t gotten happiness.

With this in mind, James Clear proposes focusing on habits instead of goals. Emphasizing habits forces you to bring your attention to what you are doing today, tomorrow, or this week. Your focus is not on some faraway point in the future but rather it is very close to the present. Completing a habit can give you an immediate sense of satisfaction, so your happiness is not postponed until some vague point in time.

Habit change is identity change

What’s more, habit change is identity change. When you adopt a new habit, you become a person who does this new thing. If you choose to go swimming twice a week, you become somebody who swims. If you were focusing on a goal, e.g., swim freestyle for 1 km, you’re a wanna-be, somebody who hasn’t achieved anything yet. And the moment you achieve that goal, you set the next one, so you become another wanna-be, somebody who now wants to swim freestyle for 2 km.

Instead, if you focus on your new habit, your identity shifts immediately. Once you become “someone who swims,” your identity begins to drive your actions and choices. You go swimming because that’s what a swimmer does. Motivation begins to come from within and not from the outside (the external goal). Then it is much, much easier to sustain a habit because there is much less resistance, and the desire to maintain the activity comes from within yourself, from your sense of identity.

It’s important to remember that identity is not static. Generally, you want to change your behavior and achieve goals in order to become a better person. But focusing solely on goals is like trying to achieve something new and big while being the same, old person.

While when you adopt a new habit, you change your identity. Little by little, you become that “improved” person who swims or is a good computer programmer. And you don’t do so by achieving mind-blowing goals but by doing an activity repeatedly and consistently and getting better at it gradually over time.

Are you usually goal-oriented or habit-oriented? How do those two work for you? Let me know by commenting below or on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.